Well, despite attempting to train well, real life happens and those aspirations for amazing tempo runs and grueling 20+ milers just didn't quite happen this go-round. Marathon #3 in my ill-fated marathon career is 21 days away. Right when all the experts say to start tapering, I'm gonna try to at least attempt a 20 milers (next week on spring break). I haven't honestly started training. Whoops.
Last year around this time I ran a marathon. It hurt badly to actually do (cursed menstrual hormonal prostaglandins and stomach cramps) because my primary mode of training was caffeine. I drank caffeine--namely, COFFEE. I DRANK COFFEE. I DRINK COFFEE. I'd sometimes run, but mainly I drank caffeine (my roommate saw; she could tell you). Saddest thing is my caffeine intake is hovering in the 120 mg range per day currently which is about 80 mg less than last year. I really want to finally run a sub-four hour 26.2 but it looks like I just want to FINISH.
21 days. More COFFEE!
Where is victory? I mean, I wish I were a better athlete. I wish I were better at not failing at seemingly "accomplishable" goals. I wish I could just do it. I wish I could fight harder against lazy mornings and ill-planning.
That brings me to LENT. What is Lent? Well, regardless of what Wikipedia and church history say, for me Lent means perpetually cheating on not eating dessert. It's kinda fun because I usually end up eating MORE dessert than I normally would (but feel guiltier--thanks to amazing classmates like Michelle & Margaret--just kidding). Ironic, maybe, but in a sense it's a sort of penitence of my own. Gaining weight kinda blows. I live under GRACE and not LAW so this is my outward manifestation of the inward reality of forgiveness. I have multiple Biblical (and some extra-biblical) scriptures to back up my Lent theology. Inquire within (within).
Lastly, in the midst of realizing my marathon is 21 days away, before that, I have to somehow pass 4 huge exams. I'm thankful and honestly not really too sure my 2.8 is gonna happen this semester (how many C's is legal?). My grades are kinda like my marathon aspirations. Something always goes terribly wrong and my guestimating ends up with me at the barrel-bottom of a PA class of 39.
Being at the bottoms not all bad: only place to go is up...I hope.
Greatest part of life right now is it's beautiful and good and happy. A lot of my life is not balanced right now. I don't volunteer at pregnancy centers like I usually do. I don't cook. I don't visit friends. I don't call friends. I don't HAVE friends (kinda kidding). I don't read books. I don't sleep enough, etc., etc (but I know what disease I have).
But I have what matters most to women, to babies, to men, to nonprofits, to athletes: LIFE. I've got life. Better than that I've got prayer. I've got the realization that I can't save babies in Roanoke with God. God saves the babies. God ran the marathon, passed PA school, and went through 40 days of the most intense tempting on the planet. So awesome. It's like Jesus is still the answer.
Some things never change, thankfully.